Tuesday, October 12, 2004

Terror on the 65

Picture it…I’m on the 65 on my way to Dublin, I get on at Ballymore (the stop before Blessington), I put Zeppelin 3 on and sit back, reading Bill Bryson’s ‘A Short History of Nearly Everything’. I am calm…I am happy. The bus pulls in at Blessington, two men get on. One sits two seats in front of me, the other sits at the top of the bus. Next of all the obligatory un-supervised large group of 8-14 year old feckers get on the bus, wreaking havoc and running for the back seat. I simply turn up the volume on my walkman, and loose myself in Tangerine and stories of amino acids.

The scene is set.

SUDDENLY I get a whack at the back of my head, I turn around and there's two of the little feckers (I'll call them LF's), about ten years old, having a 'mess-fight' on the seat behind me, and one had hit into me. I turn around and glare (that old trick!), but they ignore me, and continue fighting and pushing up against me, again and again....

Me: What the f**k?! Get back down to your seats, you little fu**ers, and pis* off away from me!

LF's: **Silence**

So, I assumed they'd learned their lesson. HA! Suddenly I got another whack at my head, and the main little fecker (I'll call him MLF) was walking over the top of the seats, on the bars, and had walked above my head, kicking me in the process. So I reached up, grabbed his foot, and pushed it into the air, throwing him over onto the ground (I think I hurt him. I think I may have even WANTED to hurt him!), so then he got up....

MLF: F**k you, you stupid bi**h. I'll f***ing kill you. Who cut your hair?

Me: **Just stared angrily at him, wondering what's wrong with my hair?? I paid good money for this! (Damn you Sarah Weldon, this would never have happend if you had cut it!!)**

MLF: Who got your bag? Who cut your hair? Where'd you get your stupid clothes?

Me: Right, that's it! (I happened to be wearing a particularily fetching multi-coloured stripey Pepe top. It cost me 40 euro, and was most certainly NOT stupid!) Get the f**k away from me right now, or I'll go downstairs and tell the driver, and he'll call the f**ing Guards, and they'll f**k the lot of yez off the f***ing bus! Now f**k off away from me, you little f***ing pri*k!

MLF: **Glares at me with his little buck teeth sticking out, and his little ganky eyes fixing my gaze in what can only be described as some sort of attempt at a stand-off**
{**Friends down the back shout things at me and say more things about my hair (damn you Sarah!!). Generally try to intimidate me.**}

MLF then walks off (I won the stand-off, it would seem - we take the little victories in life!) to the guy two seats in front of me and starts slagging HIS hair. Guy in front doesn't stick up for himself, or say anything much. He continues to abuse him, much to his friends amusement. He moves on to the guy at the front and starts annoying him, then the little baxtard turns around and says something else to me, (probably, let’s face it, about my hair again) so I shout…possibly shout quite loudly too (psychotic anger had taken over – I felt like the Hulk!)…

Me: Leave me alone, and leave everyone else on the bus alone, or that is f***ing it. Do you want to be dumped here in the middle of nowhere, because the Garda can be here in five minutes to drag the lot of you little f***ers off the bus.

MLF then returns to the back of the bus. I replace my walkman. ‘That’s The Way’ is just drawing to a close, I try to calm down with the music. Another person gets on the bus. He sits at the front. SUDDENLY, MLF is back!!! He goes up the bus to the seat behind this new guy, and looks back at me with a really bold (evil, if I’m being honest) look, and sits in behind the guy. He leans forward, taunting me with his about-to-disobey-me misbehaviour…

Me: Go on! I f***ing dare you, I f***ing DARE you to try anything else.
MLF & Friends: He’s not even doing anything to you…it’s none of your business, he’s not saying anything to you!
Me: It doesn’t make a difference, I told you if you kept annoying me OR anyone else on the bus, I was getting you kicked off, so that’s what I’m doing.
MLF: F**k off!
Me: Right, that's it, you're all off the bus, you little f***ing ba**ards!

So, then all his friends come up and sit on all the seats around me in a big semi-circle and start abusing me, and/or staring at me open mouthed (possibly a trick of the trade intimidation-wise amongst the skanger kinder that has yet to catch on nationwide). I sit and stare back at them, refusing to be intimidated (grrrr).

MLF (possibly their leader which, to give credit where it's due, is quite an achievement for a ten year old!) comes over and stands in beside me in my seat, then takes an actual swing at my face with his fist - an actual SWING (it was like Rocky, I tell you!). I grab his fist and push him against the seat-back beside me (quite roughly, I’ll admit) and say "Don't you dare EVER raise your f***ing hand to me, you little sh*t!", and then I push him away from me onto the ground.

Suddenly he just goes flipping mental, and starts trying to kick and punch me, so I drew back as far as my little flip-flops would go, and kicked him in the stomach. Yes, that's right, I kicked a ten year old in the stomach. And I'd do it again, if I had to!! (I actually meant to just push him away, but I was so mad that I used more force than necessary. But I really do still have big bruises on my legs from him kicking me, so I feel less sorry than I probably should!!)

I think they may have possibly, at this stage, thought I was some kind of psychotic mental case, because they all got off the bus very rapidly at this point, and didn’t even shout anything much back at me. Certainly nothing about my hair (perhaps they sensed it was a sore point that could send me off the edge of reason!).

Note to passengers - If the three ‘men’ (I’ll use that term very, very, very, very, very loosely) on the bus ever chance to read this blog, shame on all of you for sitting with your backs to me, and not even turning around at any point to see was I ok – a girl, by myself, up against a very large group of evil-kinder-minus-morals-or-fear-of-repercussion. Shame on you!

There’s probably a file in Tallaght Garda station at this moment with footage of a woman’s unsolicited attack on a defenseless ten year old. But we know the truth, don’t we? I feel bad, though. I mean, he was only a kid! Writing it all down, it does seem as if I may have overreacted a bit……

Oh the joys of Dublin Bus…next stop, those people who sit down the back smoking. You, my friends, are next!

The bus avenger...what should my super-hero name be?


Daniel said...

Look here - you don't deserve a super hero title. Sure, you won a fight, but even the guy who allowed this to happen claimed to win a war the other day. And he's no hero.

As for the male passengers that didn't help you, I can say 3 things.
Firstly, I am glad that you have experienced equal rights. You would have never helped any one of the men.
Secondly, welcome to life in a 21st century metropolis.
Thirdly, wise words from Tarantino apply to you:
Vincent: Still I hafta say, play with matches, ya get burned.
Jules: Whaddya mean?
Vincent: You don't be givin' Marsellus Wallace's new bride a foot massage.
Jules: You don't think he overreacted?
Vincent: Antwan probably didn't expect Marsellus to react like he did, but he had to expect a reaction.

Having said all that, thanks for a well written and engaging story which, I believe, is the first random blog story that I've actually enjoyed. :)

al said...

i am proud of you. i think you are dead right to beat up the knacker piss drinking scum of this city. i think you might have some anger issues but none the less you did the right thing. lets hope you did the little fuck face some damage and he hopefully wont be able to get his cousin pregent and produce any more of these dirty cunts.

Ciaran said...

I disagree (no not you?!) with Daniel Radcliffe or Radcliffe as i will call him now, since he must know magical ways of dealin with pests, in a sense he was right with the fact you wouldn't have helped them comment but the 'you play with matches you get burned one' is horseshit not in principle but in details if he'd read it closely, or heard your drunken cider slur on Saturday he'd know that the scummer-t started on you (how could ya start on someone while at the peaceful Tangerine-Thats the Way junction of III?) and hence it was self defence of sorts. I find the Swingers quote far more fitting -
Mike:What the fuck are you carrying a gun for? What, in case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Sue : Hey man, you're not from here, alright. You don't know how it is. I grew up in L.A.
Trent : Anaheim.
Sue : Whatever, man. It's different out here. It's not like New York, Mikey.
Mikey: A - right in New York trouble finds you
Trent: Yeah, like House of Pain was gonna do anything.

Al's was funnier but how & ever.

Sarah Peace said...

Thanks you guys! I feel better just knowing I have support - though that's possibly just due to the fact that you both know me! Mr. Radcliffe, I have to say that I think I DID in fact stick up for those guys - including the man that alighted last. I could have just let the little scumbags move on to a more willing prey (as the others seemed to be), one who didn't fight back, but I decided that they weren't going to do it to ANYONE on the bus, not just me. So, I have to disagree. As a firm supporter of equal rights and a staunch feminist, I find your remarks misguided. Men and women are equal in status, but not equal in all things - where would diversity be, if that were the case? A woman standing up to a group of children does not inspire fear, because women are seen - rightly or wrongly - as the nurturer and carer. Men are seen as the hunter, and therefore if one of those men had stood up and said 'No more' (or something less like LOTR), then they would have stopped quicker, or at least been more likely to listen.

I stand defended, I hope! (and still in retention of my 'don't mess with me' persona!)

Sinéad said...

I am in awe.
Hats off to you lady.

Fancy a job as a bus-etiquette-enforcer on the 39x? My rules are fairly simple, though you may need to turn your walkman down...