Deathproof (but not critic proof)

Well, I attended the screening of QT's new movie (Deathproof), expecting fun, frolics and mayhem. What I got was a bunch of sycophantic people dying to tell QT how brilliant they thought he was, and loath to question any of his 'wise' decisions. I enjoyed the Q & A, don't get me wrong, and I was as enthusiastic as the next person about having QT sat with us watching his latest movie.

BUT...

I was not happy with the amount of questions that began with the phrases "loved the movie", or "love your work". The questions themselves were also moronic - one woman actually had the STUPIDITY to ask 'was all the quick edits and mistakes deliberate, and were you going for a kind of 'grindhouse' look with the movie'. What a fucking idiot!

Sorry for the bad language - it's my first time to curse in the blog, but seriously! Come on!!

I got to ask a question - stuttering somewhat, but basically I asked if we were likely to see the Grindhouse double-feature with Rodriquez's 'Planet Terror' in cinemas, or was he not gonna bother and just wait for DVD. He avoided answering that question - oh he talked alright, but he never really answered. Ah well.

So, here's my review for Film Ireland - my last for the website (my last printed review is in this issue, and is for the fantastic Irish flick 'Kings')......

Deathproof

Coming to our screens as a single movie, as opposed to a ‘Grindhouse’ double feature with Rodriquez’ Planet Terror, Deathproof packs little of its directors legendary punch. Thanks to small turnouts in the US, we on this side of the Atlantic have to suffer through additional chat and superfluous lap dancing instead of a thrilling double whammy of old-style movie making.

The sting of Deathproof lacking its partner in ‘Grindhouse’ crime is that the movie was never meant to be a serious movie, per se. It should have been an homage, along with Planet Terror, to those badly-done, violent movies of old – keeping tongue firmly in cheek at the bad editing, and revelling in the blood-splattering gore. Instead, Tarantino has stretched his own movie to feature length with badly written dialogue and redundant exposition. Without any of the quotability of Tarantino’s other films, it veers haphazardly from insipid conversations to all out action. The all-too-infrequent adrenaline rushing car chases are fine pieces of moviemaking, but the preamble of mindless chat over-softens the punch.

Seeing Deathproof at the premiere after being riled by the director into a state of high-excitement will differ somewhat from the standard experience. Unfortunately for the general movie-going populace, having Quentin Tarantino run up and down the aisle shouting is what lifted Deathproof from mediocre to entertaining. Without his infectious glee, it is a sub-standard piece of fluff. Self-indulgent to the point of boredom, it comes across more as a vanity project than as any kind of experiment in filmmaking.

Some parts are unashamedly entertaining, and the final car chase, in particular, blows recent CGI attempts out of the water. The stuntwoman-come-actress, Zoë Bell, plays a stormer in the tricks department, but the movie smacks suspiciously of being written purely to give Zoë a chance to show her talents. Exciting though her scenes are, it cannot really make up for the many uninteresting preludes.

Kurt Russell makes good B-movie cheesy impact as the grizzled Stuntman Mike, getting his kicks from road-rage – and the car chases really are fantastically thrilling. Despite these small oases of fun, the unusual ‘Grindhouse’ double-feature element is what really sold the movie to audiences this side of the pond. The overriding disappointment is, of course, that the directors didn’t fight harder for the ‘Grindhouse’ format to stay intact.

Deathproof lacks that edge we’ve come to expect from Tarantino – and all the ‘quirky’ edits and flashes of black and white in the world can’t make up for what is, essentially, a quick fix of a movie. Fun enough to watch, but it won’t leave a lasting flavour.

Inconsistent to the last, one cannot help but wonder how much better it would have been to see the actual ‘Grindhouse’ experience – with Deathproof and Planet Terror filling a bill together. Alone, it stands, a disappointing piece of a filmmaking from a man we know could do better.

From role models to morons

Pictured above is my Mam. Over the past two years she's had to deal with a hystorectomy, during which the doctors discovered advanced Ovarian cancer. She had chemotherapy for months, which drained her energy and made her ill, and was finally given a small 'all-clear' - not an eternal one, but a break in the illness. She changed her whole lifestyle - food, exercise, lifestyle choices - according to research she did on healing cancer. She has worked hard to overcome the disease in a pro-active way. This summer, she suffered a setback. Barely two years after the first occurance of cancer, she was told that it had come back. A recurrance at this stage is not good news. But my Mam battled it, as she battles everything, and though she has to have radium treatment for a few weeks, they are confident that she will again go into remission - and hopefully stay in remission for another couple of years.

My Mam also failed her Leaving Certificate, in her past. When I was young, she worked three jobs to keep us going - waitressing, office work, cleaning...whatever she and my Dad could do to keep four kids up and running. Over those tough years she kept up her reading and writing - the joys of these hobbies hadn't been killed with the terrible school system of her time, and her love of learning kept her going. She wrote short stories - many of which were published in magazines, and one of which she won a Cecil Day Lewis short story prize for. She became interested in returning to her education for her own fulfillment. Open University offered the flexibility of distance learning - meaning she could continue to work full-time, as she needed to. Over the course of six years (rather than working straight through, she took breaks) she studied and gained her Bachelor of Arts degree in English and History. During that time she worked as a secretary in a secondary school in Naas. Last year, despite coping with cancer, she enrolled and was accepted into the Higher Dimploma in Education course in Maynooth University. It was a hard year, but she got through. This summer, barely a week after getting her fantastic results on the H-Dip, she got the bad news on her cancer.

But this week, she attended her graduation ceremony, and I was lucky enough to be there with her. In the next few weeks she will not only continue her battle with the disease, but begin work as a secondary school teacher in the very school she began her time as a secretary in.

THIS is a role model.

_______________________________________________

Over the years, stupid celebrities come and go. But for the past while it seems that the media actively celebrates stupidity. Pushes girls and women into the spotlight who lack the intelligence, cop-on or self-respect to act with decency, decorum or any class of humility.

We have watched Brittany yanked back into the limelight this week, only to be vilified and downtrodden again. Do we take joy in this? But even worse than the contemptable behaviour of big-wigs and music execs pushing obviously unstable and exploited females into the glare of media, is the increasingly moronic behaviour of so called 'smart' girls in popular culture. Take, for instance, Avril Lavigne. Now, I don't like her music. I think it's trite, boring and mind-numbingly unintelligent. BUT, that doesn't matter - I don't need to like her music. But what I do care about is her comments in public. Apparently, some girls look up to her - and it's a sad state of affairs when young girls not only sing along to her mindless lyrics, but listen to her comments in magazine interviews.

Here are the Ten Commandments of Avril Lavigne, as given to 'Q' magazine (http://www.q4music.com/) recently.

"DEAL WITH IT
Selling 24 million albums hasn't really affected me, but it has changed things. I can't walk into a room full of people any more without everybody turning their heads, and I can only eat in certain restaurants where I know I won't get hassled. But that's OK. I was born to do this, and so I've learned how to cope.

DEVELOP AN IMAGE
Someone like Kelly Clarkson is beautiful and has a pretty voice, but with me you get a much stronger image. I'm tough, I have a look that girls want to copy, and I sound a particular way. It's good if you're not easily ignored. And I'm not.

DON'T GET MAD, GET EVEN
I was 17 when my first album (Let Go, 2002) came out, and all of a sudden I had to spend my days doing interviews. Listen, when you are 17 you don't know how to hold a conversation with an adult, and you pretty much don’t want to. But I learned to channel that annoyance into my music.

PARTY HARD. BUT NOT TOO HARD
When I go to a party, I am the party! I'm the girl doing shots, jumping on tables, screaming and getting wasted. Am I advocating drugs? No! When I say get wasted, that doesn't mean go crazy. Drink in moderation. Be responsible, yeah?

PRACTISE GOOD KARMA
I am a very giving person. When the hurricane thing happened (in New Orleans, August 2005) I went to my closet, filled six boxes of stuff and said to my assistant, "take it to Katrina!" I also like to give stuff to people who are my "workers", especially if they don't make much money.

BE GRATEFUL
It's important to be thankful, even if you're poor. I mean, come on, we all have clean water — well, ok, not people in the developing world. It's important to remember where we came from and just how lucky we are to be here.

ADVOCATE SPIRITUALITY
I'm not particularly religious, but I am spiritual. What kind? Feng shui, mostly, and energy. I'm good at picking up people's energy, like I'm receptive or something.

FINDING MR RIGHT
I got married last year (to Deryck Whibley of Sum 41) simply because I was lucky enough to find the right guy. Did I tame him (Whibley once confessed to a fondness for mushrooms and ecstasy)? Hey, we were both party animals once, so we've tamed each other.

EXTEND YOURSELF
I want to get into movies next, a lead role in a super cool indie flick. I've been looking at scripts for the past two years now and most of them have been shit, but I know I could be real good at it. I have an agent now, and everything.

LOVE YOURSELF
People love me and people hate me, but I'm comfortable in my own skin and that's what counts. And anyway, if you do hate me, you're the loser, not me."

This is NOT a role model.

Last full month in Ireland (for a while)

Feels weird – knowing that this is the last full month I’ll spend in Ireland until summer of next year. You forget how much you actually LOVE your country and your life until you think you might have to leave it…

Some of the things I’m gonna miss the most when I’m away:

1. My family (especially the beautiful nieces & nephews)
2. My new puppy (pictured above)
3. Friends
4. Toast and Ray’s boiled eggs for brekkie
5. Cereal at 9 at night while watching crappy telly
6. Lying on a couch watching telly
7. Trips to the cinema
8. Walking around the Wicklow Hills (although the Andes might be a nice replacement)
9. Reading in the sunshine
10. Sitting in front of the fire watching DVD’s
11. The toll bridge (just kidding)

Luckily, the ‘thing’ I would miss the most is actually coming with me – Alan!

Electric Picnic was brilliant! I didn’t get to see absolutely everyone I had planned on seeing, but the main ones were fantastic. Beastie Boys rocked the Kasbo, and the Chemical Brothers did their usual fandango. The main joy was having a quieter camsite this year, mwah mwah...

Bjork was my stand-out ladeee, of course, and I’m bloody delighted to have seen her! I'm glad not to have to face into another day of port-a-loos, though...those things are NASTY.

Here’s Kelly ruining a perfectly good romantic photo at Bjork...he's just jealous (of me, I'd say - look at my gorgeous boyfriend, for God's sake!!)

My finger is on the button!

Well, I'm off to Electric Picnic (we'll be together, together in electric dreams!)...my my, how the excitement builds!

Obviously there's all that cinema milarky below, but I might stop by a few bands! Top of my list is Bjork, closely followed by Chemical Brothers and Beastie Boys. Then, in no particular order, Modest Mouse, Manic Street Preachers (for old time's sake!), Jarvis Cocker (please play some Pulp, skinny man!), The Go Team, Primal Scream, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, The Undertones (just for THAT song), Unkle, Duke Special (on Jon's nudge) and Kila.

Then there's the comedy tent! I'll try catch some of Des Bishops set, and Tommy Tiernan, and Jason Byrne.......and whatever else takes my fancy!

I'll also pay a visit to some of the worthy groups popping in - those campaigning for climate change, the Amnesty tent, and those amazing people at War Child. Can't have a festival without a conscience, can we!

Countdown is over - preparation begins!! Woo and, indeed, Hoo!

Another Zombie nightmare...

Why am I so afraid of Zombies?

They freak me out so much, I even give them a capital 'Z' when talking about them! It just terrifies me, the thought that it could really happen.

And I know what you're gonna say - that it could never happen...but that's what they all say, until the re-animated corpse of your next-door-neighbour sinks his putrid teeth into your neck and starts to chew.

I have the same recurring nightmare - I wake up, and everything seems kinda normal, I go about a few of my normal morning tasks, when out of the corner of my eye I see something unusual. This is where the nightmare can vary....sometimes it's a slow moving shuffle Zombie (like from the original Dawn of the Dead), and sometimes it's a speak-freak bastard (like from 28 Days Later). And then it's just all-out panic, as I try to get to my family, and escape from the oncoming surge of Zombie hordes sweeping across the fields/streets (depending on where I am in the dream).

BUT - I always wake up before anything happens to me. What does this mean?

What does any of it mean?

Is it a completely irrational fear? It doesn't FEEL like a stupid fear (even though I know it must be). I am genuinely afraid of Zombies.

Genuinely afraid! And I had another dream about them last night, which means that all day today I feel like a dark cloud is over me - because I'll spend the whole day worrying about Zombies.

Hen night - t'was alright!

Hen night turned out to be loadsa fun!! Had a great laugh with Grainne, and sent her on her merry way with a final fun night out with the girls!! Full photos are on the beeeb page.

The only downside was the nightclub....what a kip!! And bunch of knackers outside pushing girls around...but how and ever, my ire had just begun! The poxy taxi driver who brought us in and out wanted €20 per head for the trip. €140 for a 36km round-trip!

I, of course, told him that I'd be happy to give him the money, if he'd give me a receipt and his license number so that I could contact the Taxi Regulator on Monday and check on his pricing. He, of course, conveniently couldn't give me a receipt, but said he'd post one out. HA! Then he got really mad at me for 'accusing him of overpricing' (which I was) and wouldn't take any money off me! Ah well - not my problem if his quilty conscience is eating him up inside...and I got to keep his thieving hands off MY moolah!

So I checked the taxi regulator website this morning, and the return journey (which would be the most expensive, as it's a late pick-up) should have been €32.50, and the journey out couldn't have been more than €30. That means that the entire trip should have cost a maximum of €65!

What a bastard!!

So I'm filling in my complaint form now for the Taxi Regulator. Scammer, eh?!? Thinking he could take advantage because (1) we're a bunch of drunk girls who don't know a €20 from a €5 note (he didn't reckon on the fact that no matter how drunk I am, I'm poor enough to REMEMBER how little's in my wallet, and how hard I worked for that measly sum), and, (2) we live in the country, so he's the only bloody taxi guy around and we have to pay whatever he asks, because we've no other option but to use him??!!

Not on my watch, baby!!!

Hen night my shite.....

Have to organise and keep jollies for my bezzie mate Grainne's hen night tonight. As bridesmaid, I'll have to be fun and shiz-n-giggles for the whole night!! *Sigh....* What an almighty effort!

Love her, though, so guess it's all just part of frienship. Oh, she'll pay if I ever tie the knot, though!

On the upside, it's now only 40 days until we set sail on a South American adventure, so everything in life is gooooOOOOOOoood!

Plus, Alan still loves me despite me being a pain in the ass a lot of the time, so that's always a secret worthy of celebration!!

Reason to be excited number 7,247

There's me missing a kiss with my double chinned drunk-butt boyfriend at New Years Eve!! And in a couple of months, we'll be missing kisses all over South America!

Yes, yes - it's official! I've applied for and been granted my career break....

Hi Sarah,

Your request for 8 months Career Break has been approved.

We have calculated your annual leave entitlement from 1 April to 30 September 2007 which is 10½ days + 1½ carried forward from 06/07 = 12 days.
Leave taken up to the 23 August 2007 is 7½, leaving 4½ days until 30 September 2007.

Sarah please let me know if you will be taken the 4½ days or if you wish to get paid for this Annual Leave.

Please ensure that when you are leaving on the 30 September that the balance on your Flexi clock is at Zero.

Also please return your Flexi/Security Card and ID Card to HR Unit on your last day.

Sarah enjoy your Career Break.

If you have any queries please give me a ring.

%&*££

So there we go - I'm now written out of the Civil Service from the winter months!

Coupled with some great news on my Mam's health, and Alan's Dad's continued improvement - I'm on cloud nine!!!

Plus, for New Year's Eve 2007/2008, I get to smooch that glorious bastard up there!!

Besides all the fantastic music........

.....how ridiculously exciting is this???

Friday
1-4pm: Woodstock The Movie
4-5.50pm: Stranger than Fiction
5.50-7.40pm: 28 Days Later
10pm: Dawn of the Dead
10-11.40pm: The Lost Boys
11.40pm-2.30am: Lord of the Rings

Saturday
2.30am-4.20am: Dark Side of the Rainbow - Wizard of Oz synchronized to Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon
4.20am-6.15am: Blade Runner
6.15am-8.10am: 24 Hour Party People
8.10am - 10.05am: Something About Mary
10.05am-12.20pm: V For Vendetta
12.20pm-1.35pm: Human Footprint
1.35pm-3.30pm: Darwins Nightmare
3.30pm-5.10pm: An Inconvenient Truth
5.10pm-6.35pm: Borat
6.35pm-8.35pm: Hot Fuzz
8.35pm-10.45pm: Glastonbury
10.45pm-12.35pm: Irish Film Board presents...Live Action shorts
12.40pm-2.10am: The Aristocrats

Sunday
2.10am-2.25am: The Wednesdays
2.30am-3.45am: Daft Pink's Electroma
3.50am-5.20am: Blazing Saddles
5.20am-6.55am: Stand By Me
6.55am-8.20am: Muppets from Space
8.20am-10.15am: The Incredibles
10.15am-11.45am: Irish Film Board presents...Animation Shorts
11.45am-1pm: Daft Punk's Electroma
1pm-3pm: Scanner Darkly
3pm-4.30pm: First Blood - Rambo
4.30pm-6.35pm: The Karate Kid
6.35pm-8.35pm: 300
8.35pm-10.10pm: Leonard Cohen: I'm your Man
10.10pm-11.45pm: Hedwig and the Angry Inch
11.45pm-1.30am: Footloose
1.30am-2.50am: Borat

Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the cinema tent at Electric Picnic!!

God, it's gonna be fantastic....and all reports indicate that it might even be SUNNY!!
***Girly squeal of delight***

http://www.electricpicnic.ie/

The way things were!

Well, photos are up on my bebo page of the trip to France to visit Sarah! She's doing really well, and building a proper wanker&bitch-free life over there (something we should all try to do - separate that chaff from our wheat of life, eh?!?!).

Anyway, all is well with the world. Liverpool had victory snatched from their jaws by a moronic ref, but he's admitted his mistake, so at least Jose can't go on and on and on about how 'pure' and 'naive' his team are!! He'll have to admit they're a bunch of diving, scummy, lousy, bastards! Or something to that effect....

The ref clearly made a mistake - "Having looked at a video and seen a better angle and a better view, clearly he (Styles) now recognises that he got it wrong and he's deeply apologetic for that. I think, in fact, he too will be making contact with Liverpool in order to offer his apologies."

So, I would have been happier with our deserved win, but I'm content in knowing that we don't play dirty, we just play! We have the best players and the best supporters - and here's a little letter Luis Garcia sent to the team website that goes a long way towards showing what it means to be truely RED!

Dear Reds,

First of all I'd like to apologise for not having been back in touch sooner, but I needed to take some time to take on board all the recent changes and then to put down these words for you.

I'm sure you will understand.

I would rather this be a letter of thanks and gratitude, not simply a goodbye.

Yes, thats right, gratitude, because that is the word that best sums up my feelings for you all.

Taking the decision to change clubs hasn't been easy. Not easy at all.

I've experienced three fantastic years at the club and in the city. Three years in which together, the fans and the team, we have accomplished some fantastic achievements, and I'm sure that these successes will continue to be repeated in the near future.

You know that I like a challenge and that I don't just settle for second best.

Back then Liverpool Football Club gave me the opportunity to be part of an ambitious plan to put the Reds back at the summit of the game.

I think that together we managed to achieve that.

As I said, I do like challenges and in spite of the fact that at that time I was playing for my home town club, one of the biggest in the world, I wanted to be a part of that project that was being presented to me by Liverpool, and so I accepted the challenge.

Now, after three seasons in the Premier League and having won some major trophies, the chance came up for me to return to La Liga and be part of a new project at a club I already knew.

The idea of enjoying things in a Spanish club like we experienced together at Liverpool over these last three years appealed to me, and thats why I accepted the offer.

I want to thank everyone working at Liverpool Football Club for how well they have treated both my family and I, making us feel at home from the very first day to the last.

I also want to thank the management, coaching staff and directors for the opportunity they gave me back then to be part of such an important and well-loved club as Liverpool. A club which has helped me to grow as a footballer and where to date I have enjoyed the biggest success of my career.

Without a doubt, this success has been possible thanks to the outstanding group of players with whom Ive been able to share a dressing room over the last three seasons.

I'm not going to mention anyone specifically, because I think that the secret of this team's success has been exactly that: nobody wanted to stand out above the rest and there has always been a great togetherness in the squad, which made it into something more than a group of players, it was a group of friends.

Thanks to all of you for your help and your friendship.

I've left until last the thank you which for me is the most important: Thank you to the supporters.

Your support allowed me to settle quickly at both the club and in the city, and you made me feel really at ease with you all right from the word go; that's the kind of help that you notice most of all during the difficult times, of which there have been a few during my time here.

I'd like to especially thank you for making up a song for me and you should know that every time I heard you singing it, it was like an extra injection of strength and motivation, even helping me to overcome pain occasionally during a game.

Your unconditional support is the thing that ensures that this team manages to pull through in the most difficult circumstances; and I can assure you that the whole squad is aware of this and thanks you for it.

A football club isn't just made up of players, coaches and directors. More than anything else it's the supporters who make a club, and that perhaps is the ingredient which best distinguishes Liverpool Football Club from every other team. The supporters.

Because if one thing has remained obvious to me after these few years, it's that with supporters like you, Liverpool Football Club will never walk alone.

I really hope that the club wins lots of major trophies in the future; I'll be following it all from a distance, with the pride that you can only get from having been a Red and played for the home team at Anfield – a ground that every football fan must visit at least once in their life. Thank you for everything.

Yours most sincerely,

Your friend,

Luís García

http://www.liverpoolfc.tv/

Some balance in the world?

Israel vows entry ban on Darfur refugees

Laurie Copans, Associated Press in Jerusalem
Monday August 20, 2007

The Guardian

Israel yesterday said it planned to turn back refugees arriving from Sudan's war-torn Darfur area, prompting arguments over whether the Jewish state had a duty to take in people fleeing persecution.

David Baker, an Israeli government spokesman, said people from Darfur would not be immune from Israel's ban on unauthorised migrants.
He said: "The policy of returning anyone who enters Israel illegally will pertain to everyone, including those from Darfur."

Late on Saturday Israel handed over 48 Sudanese, allegedly including Darfurians, to the authorities in Egypt, security officials in Egypt said.
For months Israel has been concerned about how to deal with the flow of Africans, including some people from Darfur, who have passed over its southern border with Egypt's Sinai desert.

The decision to turn back asylum seekers from Darfur contradicts the pledge of Israel's prime minister, Ehud Olmert, to "absorb" the newcomers. Mr Baker said that those already in Israel would be allowed to stay, the turn back policy affecting only new arrivals.

Fighting between pro-government militias and rebels in Darfur has led to the deaths of more than 200,000 people and displaced 2.5 million since February 2003. Most of the displaced people remain in Darfur, but the UN estimates that 236,000 fled to Chad. Tens of thousands of other asylum seekers have sought refuge in Egypt. Israel's response to the arrivals has been contradictory: threats to expel them have clashed with humanitarian sentiments inspired by the memory of Jews trying to escape Nazis. Eytan Schwartz, an advocate for Darfur refugees in Israel, said about 400 refugees had entered Israel in recent years. "The state of Israel has to show compassion for refugees after the Jewish people were subject to persecution throughout [their] history," he said.

But Ephraim Zuroff, of the Nazi-hunting Simon Wiesenthal centre, said the Jewish people could not be expected to right every wrong just because of their past. "Israel can't throw open the gates and allow unlimited access for people who are basically economic refugees."

Asylum seekers found sanctuary from mass murder by going to Egypt, Mr Zuroff said, and the desire to enter Israel was "motivated primarily by the difficult living conditions and bleak economic prospects in that country".
Israeli law denies asylum to anyone from an "enemy state", which includes Sudan - whose Muslim government is hostile to the Jewish state and has no diplomatic ties with it.

About 2,800 people are estimated to have entered Israel illegally through Sinai in recent years. Nearly all were from Africa, including 1,160 from Sudan, and many had first spent months or years in Egypt. This June, according to the UN High Commissioner for Refugees, as many as 50 people were entering illegally each day.

Egypt, which has been urged by Israel to step up surveillance of the border to prevent the illegal transit of goods and people, has increased its efforts recently. However it denies any obligation to take back refugees. Many Sudanese find life difficult in Egypt where, two years ago, riot police killed nearly 30 people when clearing a refugee encampment in Cairo.

____________________________________________________

A poem by Theodore Roethke, and a painting by John Squire - to remind me that 'though there are murderers in this world', there is also art.

The Waking

I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I feel my fate in what I cannot fear.
I learn by going where I have to go.

We think by feeling. What is there to know?
I hear my being dance from ear to ear.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Of those so close beside me, which are you?
God bless the Ground! I shall walk softly there,
And learn by going where I have to go.

Light takes the Tree; but who can tell us how?
The lowly worm climbs up a winding stair;
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.

Great Nature has another thing to do
To you and me, so take the lively air,
And, lovely, learn by going where to go.

This shaking keeps me steady. I should know.
What falls away is always. And is near.
I wake to sleep, and take my waking slow.
I learn by going where I have to go.

Theodore Roethke

John Squire

South American, here I come!

It's interesting how it all becomes a little more final with the buying of a ticket. I've been building up to travelling for ages now - over a year - but only now, when we've finally purchased something definite, do I actually feel like I'm going travelling!

Myself, Alan, Welly and Ed went into USIT and waited for what seemed like an eternity before speaking with someone re: South America 2007 - THE TRIP. Disappointment awaited us - we wanted a return trip to Rio, leaving at the end of September. The first available flight to Rio was the end of October, and was pricey. Damn. Thankfully, our helper in USIT, Martha, was a bit of a bleedin' legend, and she managed to hunt and duck and swerve and negotiate and give us some more options. After many false starts, we have now come up with an almost perfect solution - fly into Buenos Aires, and out of Caracas! That way we don't have to double back on ourselves at all, and get to do a circuitous route of the continent.

We fly out of Ireland on 4 October, and land in Buenos Aires. Then we're looping up to Brazil for a couple of weeks - so see Rio, etc. - then down, down, down to Patagonia and icebergs and glaciers and moon-land, then up Chile into the Andes, a quick flight from Santiago to La Paz in Bolivia for the Salt Flats and other such wonders, then across Lake Titikaka into Peru for some Inca madness, up into Ecuador for Amazon jungle treks, then we're flying from Quito to Caracas in Venezuela. There, Bones will leave our happy crew for Ireland on March 26th, but we will continue onwards into Cuba and the Caribbean for another two months - happy days - and then back into Caracas to fly home on 1 June. Myself and Bones made the trip into town on Monday, and payed it all off. So it's official!

I'm too thrilled to even think about it properly. Mainly, I'm concerned about getting money together. If Al wants to come home, and then fly straight back out again to either North America and Canada, or China and South East Asia, then I'll need some serious moolah. Which means a loan. Which means a headache!

But besides all that, I'm going to South America!!!

I can't wait, I can't wait, I can't WAIT!!!

70 days, and counting...!

Karl Pilkington Quotes - the man is a lunatic!

Well, Alan (he's the gorgeous one on the right, next to my big brother & almost-brother-in-law) is away in London seeing Bright Eyes (lucky sack), while I stay here and keep the home fires burning - I'll get my revenge next week, by sunning myself in the South of France without him!! (Still...I do miss him already, though. And I guess I'm gonna miss him next week too!)

While he's away, I thought I'd give myself a quick giggle by reading some Karl Pilkington quotes. For those of you who don't know him, he's a friend of Stephen Merchant's and Ricky Gervais'. They put out podcasts of their conversations with him, because the man has the weirdest mind in the history of minds! It's amazing in it's combination of stupidity and lucidity - and, of course, very funny!!
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Aesop's Fables
"That's the problem with them fables, they're putting animals together that wouldn't meet. I don't know where a scorpion is knockin' around with a frog."
-Podcast Series 3, Episode Two

Art
"Stop looking at the walls, look out the window."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode One

Biology
"You know how they say people have six senses? There's loads more than that. [The ability to feel someone looking at you], that's been around since man and dinosaur were knockin' about."
-Podcast Series 1, Episode One

On dopplegangers - "How would I know which one I was?"
-Podcast Series 2, Episode One

"Does the brain control you or are you controlling the brain? I don't know if I'm in charge of mine."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Six

"At some point, somethin has had it away with a leaf" [Karl's explanation of an insect which has evolved to look like a leaf to protect itself from prey]
-Podcast Series 3, Episode Three

Christmas
"As long as you're rememberin' baby Jesus, does it matter when your rememberin' 'im"[Karl on how he hates Christmas being the same date each year]
-The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 2 Thanksgiving

Food
"Where you are is what you eat. When I'm in London I'll have beans on toast for lunch. On holiday — what? Tapas? Go on then I'll have a bit. You eat whatevers in that area."
-Podcast Series 3, Episode Four

On cutting open avocados- "It's a food that ain't worth injuring yourself for. If it's a hassle to get into, leave it to the experts."
- The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 3 Christmas

Life
"I'm just sayin', I don't like fun"
-The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 2 Thanksgiving

"They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time?"
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2

"You can be an ugly baby and everyone goes "awww innit nice?" There was some women in a cafe the other week that I was sat in, and she came up and she sat down with her mate and she was talkin' loudly goin' on about "oh the baby's lovely." They said it's got, er, lovely big eyes, er, really big hands and feet. Now that doesn't sound like a nice baby to me. I felt like sayin' it sounds like a frog. But I thought I dont know her, there's only so much you can say to a stranger. I dont know what kept me from sayin' it."
-The Podfather Trilogy , Episode 1 Halloween

"I think some bacteria have better lives than that" [Karls interpretation on the life of an Eskimo]
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Five

"What's that plate that's above a saucer but below a plate?"
-Podcast Series 3, Episode Four

"That impressess me more, inventin' electricity"[Talking about Benjamin Franklin]
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Four

Medicine
On seeing an ultrasound picture- "It was an awkward situation because she was happy with it. I was like 'Oh God'. It was an odd looking thing. I couldn't say 'Oh, it looks like you' because that would be a dis."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Two

Nature
On jellyfish - "They are 97% water or something, so how much are they doing? Just give them another 3% and make them water. It's more useful."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Two

On seals - "Its between a fish and a dog."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Three

On chameleons - "Stay green. Stay in the woods. Stay safe."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Four

"In the sea you've got to be constantly sort of alert. It's worse in the sea [than anywhere else in the animal kingdom]. In the sea you've got an enemy behind every rock."
-Podcast Series 3, Episode Two

"They keep saying that sea levels are rising an all this. It's nowt to do with the icebergs melting, it's because there's too many fish in it. Get rid of some of the fish and the water will drop. Simple. Basic science."
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 4

"They've found this spider, in the jungle. Three foot long, it eats chicken. Bit weird, innit. People moan saying that you shouldn't lock animals up and all the rest of it, but to be honest I wish it was locked up. The idea that it's roaming in a jungle... get it locked up."
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 4

"It's like the panda, they say that's dying out. But what do they do? When you see them they're just sitting in the jungle eating"
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 1

"I saw a cockroach playing Pacman. It was on the internet, right, and somebody had linked up a cockroach to err... to some... I can't even be bothered explaining it, but that's what I'm saying - everything is moving on"
-"The Podfather Trilogy, Episode 3 Christmas"

"I've been watchin birds more than insects recently, and the thing I've found with pigeons is: they've got wings but they walk a lot"
-Podcast Series 3, Episode three

People
"Walking down the street in London with Suzanne, saw a little homeless.. well I didn't see the homeless bloke right, I saw a leg stickin out of a doorway, thought 'here we go', right. Walked past it, right, you're not gonna believe this. Homeless.... chinese fella. I've never seen one of them."
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Four

Powers
"Just sort of wander about and that, and just not get seen" [What he would do with the power of invisibility]
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Four

Sayings
"If you live in a glass house, don't be chucking stuff about." - Karl interprets the phrase "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Six

"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door" - Karl invents his own phrase based on "Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Six

"You don't have to do it straight away, but just do it before it gets really bad" - Karl re-evaluates the phrase "A stitch in time saves nine".
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Seven

"You can only talk rubbish if you're aware of knowledge."
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Six

Mystery
"Could the world fall?"
-Podcast Series 2, Episode Three

Sex
"I was walking past a sex shop an' that. One, it was open early which I never understood, it was about eight o'clock in the morning. Who needs butt plugs then?"
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Two

Technology
"We've invented most of the stuff that we need and now we're just messing about"
-Podcast Series 1, Episode One

"Just pop it on your wrist." - Ricky asks Karl how his 'invention' of a watch that counts down your life would actually work.
-Podcast Series 1, Episode Five

Travel
"I think it's clever how Rome have kept a load of old stuff. There's no overheads, yet people are going over there to see it."
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2

"Neil Armstrong, that spaceman, he went to the moon but he ain't been back. It can't have been that good."
-3 Minute Wonder, Episode 2

Young All-Ireland & Scotland Programme

Well, I have returned from Scotland somewhat victorious – came second in Ireland for the speech (yes, that very speech you see below you). And though getting the award for my writing was very validating, and made me extremely happy, it really was not the be-all and end-all of my week amongst such fine people.

For me, the greatest thing was debating and being listened to. It was speaking and being heard. And it was not being judged for having an opinion, but appreciated for it. It was being amongst people who felt as I did – that one person CAN make a difference in this world.

The days were set out fairly rigidly, with little free time on hand, but were extremely enjoyable for that! We were separated into groups of 5-6 at the start of the week, and assigned two projects to work on throughout the duration, and present on Friday. Project 1 was to come up with an idea which would change society for the better – it could be at a local government level, or a purely community level, and could involve government legislation if needed. The second project was to give our impressions on the meaning of a word – words were picked from a hat and assigned to groups, and our group got ‘Idealism’…which seemed very fitting!

So, every day went somewhat like this: Breakfast at 8.30, meet with group at 9.00 to discuss presentations and ideas, sessions start at 9.45 with papers being read in rotation with some breaks in between, lunch (including some group-work time), debates, guest speaker and discussion, dinner (from 7.30 to 9.00, and pretty much obligatory), a few drinks in the bar (if able!), then bed.

Hectic stuff! The debates were fantastic, and really fun! We were given a statement at the start of the discussion, and we voted ‘Yes’, ‘No’, or ‘Don’t Know’, then debated the issue for an hour, and took another vote at the end to see if anyone had changed their minds – which frequently happened! The debate statements were: “Is the use of torture ever justified” (I voted ‘No’, and stuck firmly to that one!); “Are schools failing the young people of our countries” (I voted ‘Don’t Know’, but changed it to ‘Yes’ at the end of the debate); “Should the drugs laws be more liberal” (I voted ‘Yes’, and stuck to it); and “Is there a God” (which I voted ‘Yes’ to, and took part in a confusing and interesting discussion on the issue).

Listening to people’s papers was the most amazing part! The way of speaking ranged from people who were loud and confident getting behind that podium and almost whispering their paper, to the quietly shy people standing up and belting out a passionate speech…it was amazing to witness! And the topics undertaken were so diverse and brilliant…from technology (how Google is a malevolent force, or how video-games are not creating murderers, or how Web 2.0 is great – as blogger knows), to reality T.V. (that the government are desensitising us to being spied on, or how celebrities are being created from nobodies), to chicken’s rights, to euthanasia, to heroin addicts, to abortion, to feminism (not just me, eh!), to Christianity, to family life, to alcoholism, to thinness, to Latin, to food, to death by corporate bludgeon…anything you could think of was discussed, with passion and fervour. It was an amazing time to be a witness to, and such an amazing event to take part in!

Our group projects came to fruition on Friday, with Project 1 being showcased first. Most groups ideas centred on the lack of community in modern society, and how best to develop a more community-spirited society. Our groups idea was for an ‘Assisted Volunteer Programme’, whereby volunteer work in the community would earn a person ‘credits’, which could then be redeemed against a list of options with the Community Development Officer of the County Council – for example, the credits could be used to reduce your council tax, or pay bin charges, or reduce heating bills, or reduce gym membership, or buy travel cards, etc. I introduced the scheme, and we role-played the rest of our description, with Anne-Marie a busy commuter who now took part in the ‘shared travel’ scheme, whereby she carpooled with neighbours, taking them to work; Linda was a stroppy teenager who now had a youth club to go to, thanks to volunteers chaperoning; Jim was an elderly man who was a member of the ‘active retirement’ group, and they kept the church grounds clean; and Jon was a student who did odd jobs for elderly members of the community.

We were very proud of our idea! But there was such a range of ideas on show, that you really couldn’t have felt anything but pleased for anyone else who might win the ‘best group’ category.

The second project, which was to discuss a word and what it meant to you, also had role-play from our team. Jon wrote a fabulous and poignant introduction about what idealism meant to us, then I stepped forward as an 11 year old articulating what idealism meant to me, then Anne-Marie was the grown-up version of the same person, and Linda the elderly. Jon then wrapped up our treatise with a reflection that age tempers idealism, but that idealism was the reason we were all sat there taking part in the programme.

Some other groups did some fantastic work – both hilarious and touching – on their words. The winning group may have clinched it with their fabulous discourse on ‘Success’, where a member of the group was a rich businessman in his car at traffic lights, two other members were girls commenting on various aspects of his success, and another member was his conscience pointing out to him that he had no friends, and no partner in life – asking the question, ‘What is Success?’ Great stuff!!

The guest speakers for the week were fantastic, and stirred some great discussion – both with them after their talk, and amongst us back at the dinner table! The first speaker, Mujdeh Yousef, was a woman of much the same age as myself, who had fled Taliban-ruled Afghanistan in 2001 with her husband and young daughters, and was now an Asylum Seeker living in Glasgow. Her story of the oppression and desolation of Taliban rule continued into a harrowing tale of surviving in Glasgow – which could be translated as ‘any western country’ – as an Asylum Seeker.

The second speaker was Mick North, an organiser of the event. His daughter was shot and killed during the Dunblane massacre, where a man walked into a primary school and killed 15 children, their teacher, and then himself. Mick’s wife had died from breast cancer in the preceding couple of years, so he had an exceptionally close relationship with his daughter, Sophie, as she had to accompany him on his academic tours to lecture halls. They spent much of their time together, travelling and talking, and his story of her life was as heartbreaking as the story of her death, since we all knew how it ended. As Mick said, he has good days and bad days, and life has never been the same for him. She was shot five times, something Mick had trouble saying – and we had trouble hearing. It was an amazing story to hear, and shocked us beyond belief.

Libby Wilson was our third speaker, a little old lady who looked every inch the quiet-granny type, and who shocked us all with her outrageous – and uproarious – tales of bringing family planning to 1950’s Scotland! Libby was - and is - a fervent supporter of a woman’s right to choose, and spoke of opening a sexual health clinic for single people in the 60’s…when the thought that unmarried people engaged in sexual activity was hugely taboo! She also started a clinic for prostitutes, and furthermore travelled to Seirra Leone to advise on family planning clinics being set up over there. Over her vast and varied life, Libby has championed the rights of women over their own bodies, and the open discussion of sexual health in both men and women. Now retired, she is a founding member of ‘Friends to the End’, a group advocating euthanasia.

Our final speaker was Jimmy Reid – one of Scotland’s ‘living legends’. A fierce trade unionist in his day, taking part in a famous Upper Clyde Shipbuilders work-in…where workers decided that instead of striking, they would simply continue to work and build ships! In this they were extremely successful - showing the viability of the workyard, and preventing its closure. Over his varied life, Jimmy has been a Communist Party member, then a Labour Party member, and then a member of the Socialist Party – where he remains today. His discussion mainly centred on life itself, and how he sees it. He is a supporter of the Young People’s Programmes, and was very lively in his discussion on the apathy of youth today, and how best to agitate them into action.

Friday night we had the awards ceremony, followed by copious amounts of drinking, dancing and singing – carrying on into the night, and early morning!

It was a fantastic adventure to be a part of, and I was thrilled to be involved. Though I have never been an apathetic person, and have aligned myself to many causes throughout the year, this programme focused me far more on what direction my life should take.

At the risk of sounding borderline-superhero, I should try to be a force for good, and not evil, and should recognise that having an opinion does not make me a freak, but rather makes me a spirited person who should push for those tenets of society we lack so much these days – peace, harmony, and the freedom of speech and choice!

You take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in SCOTLAND before you!

I haven't written in ages, but I've been busy and depressed (over the Champions League), but I'll blog proper on that issue soon....for now, I'm heading off to Scotland for the Young Ireland thingy, and as I mentioned, I had to write a speech for it..........so here it is, to keep you occupied!

Think of me reading it next week in front of the hordes (or whatever), sweat dripping down my forehead, hands trembling, stuttering over my words!

GOD, I love the smell of fear in the morning........


I am a Feminist

I’m gonna start with a little joke…
What do you call a woman who has lost 95% of her intelligence?
Divorced!

Now replace ‘woman’ with another race, creed or nationality. Suddenly it’s not so funny, is it? Why is it that our society has become so blasé about discrimination against women?

Is it because we have the vote now?
Have a choice in our profession?
Have successfully changed laws to include women?

These progressions give the impression that the woman’s movement is over. We should be happy with what we have, after all, and not rock that equality boat too much!

But how far have we really come? Why do we laugh at any jokes insulting women? Why do we think it’s funny when Britney Spears shaves her hair off, or are entertained when the Jordans of this world say something stupid?

The basic fact is that woman is still not equal. And yet, we have become ashamed of feminism – it has become the new ‘f-word’ that we lock away from ‘normal’ social intercourse.

Here’s another attempt at a joke:
What’s the quickest way to a man’s heart?
Through his chest with a knife!

And that is what’s wrong with feminism today – or, more accurately, with gender-feminism today. Is it any more acceptable that we laugh at jokes about men than if they are about women?

Gender-feminists like Sandra Bartky would have us believe that feminist consciousness is defined as a “consciousness of victimization…to come to see oneself as a victim”. Marilyn French implies that some men attacking some women is enough to tar the whole gender as oppressive, abusive and threatening. Suddenly, all feminist thought is boxed in with these extremists –as practising Muslims are grouped in with suicide bombers.

A feminist should not believe herself superior to man, and nor should she believe herself a constant victim. Once we get into the habit of seeing woman as a subjugated gender, we are primed to view men as repressors of women, and nothing else.

A feminist should be a humanist first, and recognise that though there are issues in the world relating directly to the bad treatment of women, not every issue is caused by man.

With gender-feminists, every subject is given a subjective and feminist basis of argument. Where can we go from there, if we have boxed these issues so tightly as a problem solely in the woman’s spectrum? The answer, of course, is nowhere.

Time spent discussing how the patriarchal society keeps us down, and, for example, forces us to be thin, would be better spent asking the question:
Who buys the magazines with the size 0 models?
Who delights in pictures of Misha Barton’s cellulite, or Sharon Stone’s wrinkles?

Feminism’s biggest challenge has reared its head in our ‘post’ woman’s-movement society – woman herself.

Gender-feminists ignore this divide. A gender-feminists calling card is her self-preoccupation. She simply doesn’t understand how inappropriate it is to talk of middle class struggles as though they apply to all women, in all walks of life.

Just look at the state of things today.
We are not united.
We have won no victory.
We don’t support each other as women.
We look down on the beauty queens, the page three models, the Southside bimbos, or the tracksuited Northsiders.
We have strayed away from the idea that we seek a similar goal, and are now in all-out battle with each other.

A feminist should strive for a society where we stop viewing each other as competition, and start viewing each other as sisters in a common cause. This is something that has become lost in the battle for ‘equality’, whatever that means now.

In all of this internal strife, we are ignoring the real war. I won’t throw statistics out, since ‘the devil can quote scripture for his own use’, but the facts do remain.
Women are still paid less than men for the same job.
Women still do the lion’s share of housework and childcare.
Women provide the majority of time in carer situations.
The burden of proof still rests so largely on a woman who has been raped that thousands of cases go unreported.
The buying and selling of sex is still common practice, and shows no sign of abating.
Women still make up the majority of people on the poverty line, with single mothers dominating the sector – which, of course, has the knock-on effect of creating further poverty in children.

All of these issues can and should be addressed by feminism.

The fact that I am standing here before you, speaking and being heard, is a testament to feminism. Without feminism, I would not have received enough education to formulate enough thoughts to consider changing my situation from a bad one to a good one. I would simply have accepted my situation as unchangeable.

And there is the core of feminism, and where its place is today. Ann Ferguson, an American University lecturer, sums it up that “the goal of feminist teaching is not only to raise consciousness about…[the] male domination system but also to create women and men who are agents of social change”.

And this is what a feminist should be – an agent of social change. We must change the culture of acceptance around sexism and discrimination. In work, if a man loses his temper, he’s a firebrand and a pistol. If a woman does the same, she is emotional and unstable. That company might have an equal opportunities employment procedure, but is this an equal environment for a woman to work in?

The idea that women and men hold an equal place in society is a western bourgeois myth. We blind ourselves with images of hard-nosed go-getting businesswomen, of Martha Stewarts and Oprah Winfreys.
We discount the rest of the world, and particularly ignore the ‘matriarchal’ repression occurring in other countries because we can only focus on the patriarchal oppression.
The fact that some women partake in the discrimination of other women is continuously ignored by gender feminists.

We see women in burkas, and call them oppressed, never taking the time to ask them if they actually are.
We condemn female mutilation, but don’t provide the education needed to curb its use.
We are disgusted by arranged marriages, but give little alternative to isolated immigrant families who find it hard to integrate.
We allow the laws to continue that keep a woman from leaving an abusive relationship, or reporting a rape.

Feminism is not a dirty word. Feminism is more alive now than ever, if we could just stop fighting internally and recognise ourselves as sisters and fellow humans in a common cause for equality.

Mary Wollstonecraft said that she did not wish women to have power over men, but over themselves. That is the way forward for the women’s movement.

I am not ashamed to be a feminist.
Just as I am not ashamed to be a woman.

The Man, the Legend....the TRIBUTE!

Name: Robert Bernard 'Robbie' Fowler
Born: 9 April 1975
Nickname: "God"

Fowler's career began with Liverpool, with whom he made his debut in 1993. Fowler scored 120 premiership goals for Liverpool in an eight year period. He subsequently played for Leeds United and Manchester City F.C., before returning to Liverpool in January 2006.

As of May 2006, Fowler is the fourth highest goalscorer in Premier League history, behind Thierry Henry, Andy Cole and Alan Shearer.

Liverpool – Standout Moments

• Scoring first-team debut in Liverpool's 3–1 win in a first round Coca Cola Cup tie at Fulham on 22 September 1993.


• Scored all five goals in the second leg at Anfield two weeks later – the fourth player in Liverpool's history to score five in a senior fixture.
  
• First league hat-trick against Southampton in only his fifth league game.
  
• His first thirteen games for the club yielded twelve goals, and he finished his first season at Liverpool as the club's leading scorer with eighteen goals in all competitions.
  
• 1994-95 Season: Played in all of Liverpool’s 57 matches, including the victory in the 1995 League Cup final
  
• Scored a hat-trick in four minutes and thirty-three seconds against Arsenal, a Premiership record.
  
• Voted PFA Young Player of the Year in two consecutive years (1995 & 1996), a feat equalled only by Ryan Giggs and Wayne Rooney.
  
• Throughout the mid and late 1990s, Fowler was widely considered to be the most natural finisher playing in England.
  
• Scored more than thirty goals for three consecutive seasons, up to 1997.
  
• Scored twice in a 4-3 victory over Newcastle, a match considered the best of the decade.
  
• On December 14th 1996, he scored four against Middlesbrough F.C., the second of which reached a century of goals one game quicker than his mentor, Ian Rush.
  
• In 1997, after scoring a goal in a Cup Winners' Cup game, he lifted his Liverpool shirt to reveal a T-shirt supporting sacked Liverpool dockers for which he picked up a fine, but greatly increased his popularity on Merseyside.
  
• 1997 – won a UEFA Fair Play award for admitting that he had not been fouled by David Seaman at Highbury after a penalty had been given. After unsuccessfully trying to convince the referee to change his decision about the penalty Fowler took it tamely and Seaman saved, the ball rebounded however and Jason McAteer tucked it home.
  
• 2000-01 Season – Robbie’s most successful season, appearing in three finals scoring 17 goals, and lifting three trophies in a unique Cup Treble – League Cup (where he got the Alan Hardaker Man of the Match award), FA Cup, and the UEFA Cup.
  
• Liverpool’s final game of the 2000-2001 season was against Charlton in which Fowler scored twice in a 4-0 victory that assured them Champions League qualification for next season.
  
• In October 2001, he scored his first league hat-trick for three years, helping Liverpool beat Leicester City 4–1, but was dropped for the following league game. His last appearance was against Sunderland when he was substituted at half-time.

Leeds United & Man City

• Despite his popularity with Liverpool fans, a combination of off-field controversy, disputes with Gérard Houllier and training ground arguments with then Assistant Manager Phil Thompson, led to Fowler's departure to Leeds United F.C.
  
• In total he scored 15 goals in 31 appearances for Leeds; a goal every two games.
  
• In the 2002-03 season, Fowler was transferred to Manchester City following a protracted transfer saga. Fowler ended the 2004-5 season as the club's joint top goal scorer, and gained the approval of the fans, finishing in the top three in the fans' Player of the Year poll.
  
• In January 2006 he scored Manchester City's third goal in their 3–1 win against local rivals Manchester United F.C. after coming on as substitute. After scoring, he ran to the United supporters, holding up five fingers (Liverpool's five European Cup wins vs United's two). Fowler made only one more appearance for Manchester City before returning to Liverpool.
  

Return to Liverpool

• In 27 January 2006, Fowler rejoined Liverpool from Manchester City.
  
• Fowler was in the Istanbul crowd when Liverpool won the Champions League in 2005.
  
• Fowler's return against Birmingham City F.C. in February 2006 was labelled by the press as the stuff of fairytales, and he came on to a rapturous reception in his first appearance for Liverpool in four years.
  
• He had three goals ruled out for offside, before finally scoring on 15 March 2006 in a home game against Fulham, who he scored his first goal against on his Liverpool début 13 years earlier.
  
  
  
  
  
• 
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Fowler's next Liverpool goal meant he overtook Kenny Dalglish in the club's all time top scorers.
  
• Fowler finished the 2005-6 season scoring on a more consistent basis than Liverpool's other strikers.
  
• On the 25 October 2006 Fowler was named as Liverpool's captain for the first time since his return (he scored just before half-time and Liverpool won 4-3)
  
• On 24 February 2007 he scored 2 penalties against Sheffield United - his first in front of the Kop since his return to Liverpool.
  
• In his last game at Anfield for the club against Charlton Athletic FC on the 13th May 2007, Fowler was given the captain's armband one final time. He was substituted minutes from the final whistle and given a standing ovation. Harry Kewell scored an equalising penalty to tie the match 2-2 for Liverpool in the 90th minute. Had Fowler not been substituted, he would have taken the penalty.
  
  Regardless, the crowd still chanted his name as match finished and applauded him for his years of service.
  
  Taken from: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robbie_Fowler

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, ROBBIE!

You were my favourite player growing up, and I think you will always be my all-time favourite Liverpool boy...

YOU'LL NEVER WALK ALONE!

Saucer of milk, table eight (aid)?

What is the story with 'Sir' Bob? Why is it that someone else having a good idea means he gets a bee in his bonnet? Put a little birdhouse in your soul, Bob, and let Gore have his moment! Just because it's a gig to raise awareness of an issue, doesn't mean he is stealing your glory! Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, after all, so maybe you should just shut the hell up and let the man get on with a worthy bloody cause.

Or can noone else but you HAVE a worthy cause? Is that the issue here, Bob? I mean, do you not think that starvation and poverty have at least SOMETHING to do with environmental issues (i.e. famine caused by drought, homelessness due to flooding, over-felling of trees using local peoples resources, landslides caused by deforestation)?? Get a grip, Bob, and get over yourself.........

Geldof snipes at Gore over live concerts
THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Sunday, May 13th 2007, 4:00 AM

AMSTERDAM, Netherlands - Bob Geldof, who organized the Live Aid and Live 8 benefit concerts, criticized the Live Earth music events Al Gore is putting together this summer, saying they lack a specific goal, according to a Dutch newspaper report Saturday.

The Live Earth concerts will be held in cities around the world on July 7, with proceeds funding a yet-to-be-named foundation to combat climate change, under Gore's direction.

The shows will take place in London; New York; Tokyo; Shanghai, China; Johannesburg, South Africa; Sydney, Australia; and Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. Organizers have also promised an event in Antarctica.

"I hope they're a success," De Volkskrant newspaper quoted Geldof as saying in an interview.

"But why is (Gore) actually organizing them? To make us aware of the greenhouse effect? Everybody's known about that problem for years. We are all (expletive) conscious of global warming," he said.

Geldof, former front-man of The Boomtown Rats, organized the mammoth Live Aid concerts in 1985 to benefit victims of famine in Ethiopia and the Live 8 concerts in 2005 for African debt relief. He has dedicated much of his career to advocating on behalf of humanitarian causes.

"I would only organize (Live Earth) if I could go on stage and announce concrete environmental measures from the American presidential candidates, Congress or major corporations," he told the newspaper. "They haven't got those guarantees, so it's just an enormous pop concert or the umpteenth time that, say, Madonna or Coldplay get up on stage."

Geldof also criticized the former vice president's choice of the name Live Earth.
"It sounds like Live 8," he told the paper. "We're getting lots of responses from people who think we are organizing it."
Gore could not immediately be reached Saturday for comment on the newspaper report. He was in Rio de Janeiro, where he implored people to attend that city's Live Earth show.

"An estimated 2 billion people will be watching around the world, but the single largest event anywhere in the world will be here in Rio. I want to invite every person who cares about the environment in Brazil to come to the event here in Rio," Gore said.

Gore said the concerts would mark the beginning of multiyear campaign to fight global warming. He said the concert was a fitting way to kick off such a campaign because "the task of saving the global environment is a task we should all approach with a sense of joy."

Geldof also could not be reached to confirm the remarks, made at a conference in Budapest, Hungary. The Volkskrant is one of the largest national papers in the Netherlands.

The headliners of the London Live Earth show at Wembley stadium are expected to be Madonna, the Beastie Boys, the Black Eyed Peas, the Red Hot Chili Peppers, Keane and Foo Fighters. At the U.S. concert, to be held at Giants Stadium outside New York, Bon Jovi, the Dave Matthews Band, Kanye West, Rihanna, John Mayer, the Smashing Pumpkins and Fall Out Boy are slated to perform.

The concerts will be broadcast in the U.S. by General Electric Co.'s NBC network and on more than 120 networks around the world, and streamed live online.Gore wrote the best-seller "An Inconvenient Truth," and later starred in a documentary film of the same name that popularized the science showing a link between human carbon dioxide emissions and global warming.

Come on Bob, why can't we all just get along, eh?

WE DID IT AGAIN!!!

Yet again, Liverpool storm Anfield and power their way through to another Champions League Final.

But the doubters still say nay - that Liverpool are a 'lucky' club, and have got through by the skin of their teeth, and that they have no chance in the final.

What else do we have to do to prove ourselves? We beat Barcelona and Chelsea in this campaign - arguably two of the strongest teams in football at the moment - to take us to the final, yet Liverpool fans still have to listen to the neverending stream of bullshit that comes from other supporters. Yes, we're inconsistent. Yes, we sometimes fall to 'easy' teams. But reaching the Champions League final twice in three years, as well as winning an F.A. Cup in between, is not the mark of a good team - it's the mark of a GREAT team!!

What a match, what a team.....and what a confirmation of greatness. Come on Liverpool!!

Terry cries again!!

And Jose was no better....here's a little sampling of some of his comments post-match:

From Chelsea FC website - 'What we speak now is for today and tomorrow and in a couple of years, nobody remembers. Chelsea was the better team and should have won the first-leg by two or three-nil, Chelsea was the best team tonight and Chelsea was the best team in extra-time.'

'It is difficult but we are strong characters and that is the reason why we arrive in such a situation.'

'We believe always there is a next chance and there is another year. I think we deserve to be in a final.'

From BBC website - "It is a moment when everybody has to be strong, my players have a lot of reasons to be proud. "

"We were the best team today, even against a team only playing for the Champions League."

"In extra-time we were the only team who tried to win, but football is like that and the penalty shoot-out is part of the game. My players did a great run in the Champions League."

"I respected Liverpool always in my words. I don't need to say more and today I think the best team was Chelsea."


And Benitez was his usual magnanimous self, praising both his team and his opponents, whilst showing that Liverpool were the best team on the night:

From BBC website - "We had confidence because our players practice in every training session.

"Pepe Reina is a player who is always good with penalties."

"Every player and every supporter deserves the win - the atmosphere was amazing."

From Liverpool FC website - "Maybe it was better than when we beat Chelsea in 2005 and I am really, really proud of my players, Chelsea are a very good side with some good players and at times it was difficult to control them. They had a lot of free-kicks but we defended really well and worked so hard all through the game."

"Our supporters were fantastic and the atmosphere was amazing and we are going to enjoy this victory."

"Pepe Reina was fantastic in the penalty shoot-out and he is an expert when it comes to that."

"This is a really important victory for the club and for the future."


Steven Gerrard was overjoyed after guiding his side to their second Champions League final in three years:
"The first time round was special but to do it again after being a goal down to a magnificent team like Chelsea is unbelievable," he said. "Together we achieved it.

"The atmosphere helped, the manager's tactics, everything was spot on. But we crossed the line and we stuck together.

"We have the best goalkeeper in the world. But all credit to Chelsea."


Kuyt, who scored the crucial penalty, added: "It was very special for me - it will be my first final in my first year at Liverpool. We just believed in it. Pepe Reina was fabulous."


And the final word must go to the man with the golden finger who, like Midas before him, is quickly finding out that money does not a winner make!!

LIVERPOOL F.C.!!!

A Feminist View

I have been picked to represent the office at a week-long Young Ireland conference, joining with those representing Scotland and Northern Ireland, at Stranraer in June. The programme and info are here, but basically it's a collection of people coming together to debate current events and topical issues, and to discuss ways in which change can be affected. You also have the honour of hearing speakers from a broad range of cultural bases, with even broader ranges of experience. Last year hosted Robert Fischer, as well as a man who lost his child in the Dunblane massacre, an ex-Iraqi college student who's speaking out against Saddam's regime resulted in his exile and his brother's execution, the family member of a holocaust survivor, and many more. This year should prove to be just as interesting, and I'm really looking forward to it!

I'm delighted to have been chosen, and feel extremely proud...but still a little apprehensive! Not only will I have to take part in group discussion and debate every day (from 9-7), but I must also prepare a 900-word treatise arguing the case of a subject of my choice, which will be duly picked apart by other members when I read it out at the conference!

I have settled on Feminism and it's relation to modern day woman as my topic. I think that the subject most adequately sums up my attitude to life and general way of living, and will therefore be an easier topic to stand by - since I fully believe in the strength and power of woman.

I came across a post earlier today on The Guardian newspaper's website, which details how Beth Ditto of The Gossip is to be their new 'agony aunt'. She wrote an article introducing herself, which features on the site, and I find it a fitting little karma flit to point me in the right direction...I wasn't completely sure if the Feminism topic was the right one, but I think that this little 'sign' nudges me forward.

I'll leave the final word to Beth...

"I was reading an article recently that suggested I was really wild and crazy and described me as "the woman who puts Courtney Love to shame". I just thought: "What?!" It was really funny to me, because I actually have the opposite of a rock-star lifestyle. I mean, I have to play shows and what not, but outside of that I'm a grandma. I do things like bake cakes and worry about whether I have time to pot my flowers before it gets too cold. I live with two of my best friends in Portland, Oregon, and I'll say to them, "What do y'all wanna do tonight? You want me to make devilled eggs?" And they'll nod, "Yeah, that sounds gooooood."

There have been a lot of times in my life when I wished that someone was around to be really honest with me, to say, "What the fuck are you doing?" Realistically it's often easier if that doesn't come from your friends, but from someone at a distance. That's why I'm so excited about starting this column in G2, addressing your questions and dilemmas. I'd love to be able to help convince people to accept themselves and to let go of what other people think of them - I think that's one of the most important things you can do.

Growing up isn't easy when you're different from other kids. I was physically different, and a lesbian, too, so there was potentially a lot to deal with. Pretty early on I perfected that fat kid thing where, every time someone was gonna say something nasty, I'd try to beat 'em to the punch. Before they could make fun of me, I would go and make fun of me. And that turned out to be a great asset, because it helped me to develop my wit. I think I'm really lucky.

People still sometimes comment on the way I look, but at this stage they can't tell me anything I don't already know. I know I'm fat, I know I'm quirky, I know my teeth are yellow. I do actually have access to a mirror, so this hasn't got past me. When people say things like that, I just feel like saying - "Duh?" Or, "Wow, you're a genius, you should be a photographer. You have such impeccable vision."

I didn't read a lot of teenage advice columns when I was growing up, partly because I couldn't relate to them. I would read them and think: "I don't have trouble with boyfriends - I'm scared that my mom can't pay the rent." I was brought up by a single mom in a poor town in Arkansas and while some aspects of smalltown life were really positive - like the fact that everyone there is really sweet and hospitable - there is also this close-minded mentality, and that naturally made me want to rebel.

Junior high was tough for lots of reasons, one of which was that my aunt was dying, and I was looking after her. High school wasn't so bad though because, by then, I had worked out that there were far more nerdy kids and poor kids than there were rich, popular kids, so, at the very least, we had them outnumbered. Also, the school was really small and I knew most people - there were 65 kids in my graduating class, and half of those were my cousins.

I slowly came out of the closet between the ages of 15 and 18. There were a lot of people in Arkansas that I just couldn't tell - it wasn't that I thought they'd be horrible, just that they wouldn't really understand. At that point I realised that if I didn't get out of there, I was going to stay miserable, and I would never have a life that I really loved or even understood.
Moving away from Arkansas was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I remember thinking - I can buy a plane ticket with my last $200, or I can stay here and get pregnant. Those were my two options. Staying would definitely have been easier, because I had no idea what lay ahead. For instance, until I was 18 I'd never even seen a bagel, let alone eaten one. And I had no money, no back-up at all.

Once I did, though, it was brilliant. I moved to this feminist scene in Olympia, Washington, where everyone was in a band and playing music, and it was beautiful. I had so much support that it was ridiculous. Everyone was talking to each other and teaching each other and making art. They were putting on DIY festivals and it was amazing. At that point I came out kicking and screaming - I was so out of the closet it was insane!

My life hasn't been conventional and it hasn't been linear. I've had to make it up as I've gone along, which has taught me a lot. If you don't accept the obvious options that are laid out for you, it's up to you to work out where you're going and to create your own specific rules and goals. I definitely have my own set of rules that I try to live by. I'm a feminist, of course, and I feel as if I'm very politically correct, although I do question what's PC and what's not - I don't just accept what I'm told. I always analyse the information in front of me and I think if more people developed their own rules to live by rather than just accepting the status quo, we would probably all be much happier.

One rule that I always stick to is to stay away from drugs, which is why this idea that I'm a wild, crazy rock star is so hilarious. I just don't think that drugs are cool. I know there are people who can take them and still handle things, but I've seen so many people destroy their creativity and their lives and I have no desire to be one of them. I also have no desire to be someone who has that kind of influence or effect on youth. I don't mean that in an egotistical way - "If I do it, the children will do it" - but, truthfully, you never know who is watching you.

I really believe in the golden rule: treat other people as you would want to be treated. And also in honest, direct communication. I don't think that honesty is always the best policy, because you can really hurt someone's feelings that way. But I think that, given the right moment, the right situation and timing, tactful, honest communication is everything.

To be honest, there isn't any question I wouldn't want to be asked. Even if it's personal. Even if it's scary. Even if it's, "How do you take in your trousers so that they fit you properly?" I'm up for all of it. Bring it on!"

Friday 27 April 2007, The Guardian
http://www.guardian.co.uk/women/story/0,,2066817,00.html